It's 2024 and Sexual Abuse Against Males Still Isn't Taken Seriously

On Sept. 16, 2024, music mogul and rapper Sean “Diddy” Combs was taken into custody by Manhattan police for alleged physical and sexual abuse against women. The mogul was also accused of conducting a suspected sex trafficking business since 2008, as well as racketeering. Later that month Combs was charged with many other serious crimes like rape, kidnapping, and prostitution. 

On Oct. 1, more allegations against Combs surfaced, specifically from Houston-based attorney Tony Buzbee. At a news conference, Buzbee claimed that one of Combs’ numerous victims was a 9-year-old boy who auditioned for Comb's record label "Bad Boy Records." Buzbee further stated that the 9-year-old child was not the only minor Combs allegedly sexually abused.

It was at the same press conference that Buzbee announced he would be representing over 100 people who plan on suing Combs for misconduct. 

In March, both Combs' Miami and Los Angeles residences were raided. Federal authorities discovered "more than 1,000 bottles of baby oil and lubricant" during the investigation. The baby oil was linked to Comb's alleged "Freak Off" parties, where many of the crimes were reportedly committed, and it was alleged that Combs paid off cops to attend these parties. 

After these allegations were made public, the internet went berserk with a wide range of reactions. Many were shocked and couldn’t believe what had been revealed, while others were less surprised about the allegations and more astounded at how much worse they were than predicted or that he finally got caught. Others felt compelled to make “gay jokes” about Combs or jokes about the situation as a whole. 

This didn’t go over well with many people, with one user on X (formerly known as Twitter) posting, “All the P Diddy jokes after the initial shock at ‘1000 bottles of baby oil’ just feel incredibly poor taste. The man was a monster and abuser of industrial magnitude, and the only reason he’s getting got is his hubris in keeping his blackmail material. Just feels wrong to joke.” Another user commenting on TikTok stated, “The way many men and women responded to the Diddy allegations with jokes and homophobia proves that our society does not care about men sexual assault victims.”

Society has always had a difficult time wrapping their heads around sexual abuse and how nuanced a situation it can be. It wasn’t until the #MeToo Movement, which is a movement against sexual abuse that promoted the mindset of believing all victims. This bled into Hollywood, where big figures in the industry such as Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby were imprisoned for raping multiple women. 

This led to people finally listening to victims, and openly discussing a topic that was once considered morbid. Even with some progress being made it always feels like there is a disconnect with people when it comes to male victims. 

When Wade Robson and James Safechuck accused Michael Jackson of sexual abuse, the media made a joke out of the situation. In 1996, Mary Kay Letourneau (34), a Washington teacher, was arrested for grooming and sexually assaulting her 12-year-old student Vili Fualaau. comedian Bill Maher went on his show and disbelievingly questioned,  “How can a woman rape a man?” He then implied that because Fualaau had an erection, it did not classify as rape. 

In 1992, Tom Hankins, Murray Hodgson, and Barry Orton, former Wrestling World Federation (now WWE) employees, appeared on the Phil Donahue show after being sexually assaulted. All three men were fired after they didn’t perform sexual acts on Pat Patterson, former executive of the company. During the show's opening, Donahue had each guest describe their story, and each time the victims retold their stories and there was a mention of gay acts, there was an eruption of laughter, indicating how seriously society treats male victims.

So, the pushback on the Diddy jokes has nothing to do with people being too sensitive nowadays and everything to do with the fact that we must not normalize this type of response anymore, because it could potentially deter a victim from speaking out. Let's highlight the fact that it took over two decades for someone to speak out about Combs and it wouldn’t surprise anyone if a huge factor in that was the fear of having to deal with the public’s insensitive response. Now the question is: what is the psychology behind these jokes and why is abuse against males so funny to people?

In Diddy’s case, he is heavily involved in the music industry in general, particularly the rap genre, which is dominated by men and consumed more frequently by heterosexual men. Along with that, much of the rap culture is misogynistic and homophobic. 

So when someone like Diddy, whom many of these consumers idolize as a macho, business mogul, and lady's man is accused of sexually abusing males, there is almost a malfunction in these heterosexual men's brains, and the only way they can process this is to immediately resort to gay jokes.

Although this can be somewhat understandable, it’s a very immature and self-centered approach to processing this type of information. It's infuriating that straight males would rather mourn the fact that their favorite rapper is gay instead of the fact that he allegedly abused hundreds of people. Toxic masculinity has a significant impact on this thinking, with many straight men unable to comprehend how a man, or in this case a boy, would allow himself to be abused. 

Although for most of the public, it’s hard to process actions so insidious as the ones Combs is being accused of, it is important that we make it a point to not poke fun at these situations and approach these victims with sympathetic arms. There will always be the bad seeds that will never take the time to look deep within themselves to understand why their response to abuse against males is devoid of empathy. However, if a large segment of society alters its priorities and concerns to focus on the victims, the much-needed progress in the way male victims are received will improve.