How to: Calm the %*@# Down
Cover Art for the National Bestseller “Calm the F*ck Down” by Sarah Knight
Self-help books are typically filled with sickening positive affirmations, foggily ethereal advice, or just straight up condescension. Sarah Night, self proclaimed "anti-guru" and author of "Calm the %*@# Down", has, however, catered to the market of people who absolutely abhor being told what to do, the crowd that prefers their information blunt and pragmatic.
Night is not the first writer to corner this tongue-in-cheek style. It's origins likely started back in 2011 when the children’s book "Go the F**k to Sleep", by Adam Mansbach, became a global bestseller. After came an avalanche of sailor-mouthed books, Michael and Sarah Bennett’s "F**k Feelings", Mark Manson’s "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k", and Faith G Harper’s "Unf**k Your Brain".
All these titles have something in common: they appeal to an audience who may not believe they actually need a self-help book. Her first book, "The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck", received high praise and she even went on TED Talk in 2017 explaining her methods and why it works. Knight has written a total of five books so far, all within this theme.
Unlike other self-help books which tend to minimize problems, Knight acknowledges the importance of validating one's own emotions, as "there is a reason for your anxiety, a what-if behind your worry."
"Yes, I've heard of those type of books," says David Eshleman, psychotherapist M.A, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). "In general they are just a different way to communicate the same concepts that more traditional books would communicate. This type of book would likely reach a different type of audience that may need to have the same or similar concepts explained in different ways. It's great marketing and can make the book more relatable as well."
The core part of the book is knowing how to control what one can, and accepting the things one cannot. When it comes to stress and anxiety, Knight gives some blunt advice on how to harness that energy and redirect it into actually dealing with them.
“If a storm is coming, you can panic, or punch a wall, or you can batten down the hatches and start boarding out the wind,” she says.
With lovingly named titles like "This is your brain on puppies", and "Choose your own F%*@#venture", this is definitely a feel good book for when you're not feeling all that good.
Knight pulls on her own experiences and uses it to create methods like identifying your tarantulas (identifying and isolating your problems). However, one thing she makes clear is that she is not a psychologist or a doctor, and that this book is no substitute for professional medical care.
"I understand the difference between anxiety, the mental illness, and anxiety, the temporary state of mind. I understand it because I myself happen to possess a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety and Panic Disorder."
All in all, this book does its service to determine what is really worth freaking out about and knowing how to have a clear head to deal with it. The hilarious text that makes up the book helps, too. If being called out or cursing is a bother, a different self-help book may be a better choice.
"There are many paths that lead to the same place. I think that makes it potentially very helpful to reach more people or a more non traditional audience," said Eshleman.
