Tuning Out
Once a week I get a notification on my phone telling me the average amount of screen time I’ve used over the past 7 days. What was once an alert I didn’t put too much thought into, now serves as a reminder of how I spend the majority of my time each day on my phone.
Prior to the pandemic, I made a conscious effort to be present in my day to day life, and limit the amount of time I spent looking at a screen. If I was in class or a meeting I’d put my phone on do not disturb mode, so I wouldn’t get distracted by alerts going off in my pocket. At dinners with friends I would keep my phone in my purse so I could give the conversation my full attention.
At concerts I’d take a few pictures and a video clip so that I had something to look back on — and share on my social media the next day — but preferred to spend the show watching the performances first hand.
All of that hard work I’d put into retraining myself from the days I spent glued to my phone went out the window when life went remote in March 2020. In the blink of an eye my entire world was only accessible by computer, tablet, or phone.
In many ways, it was a cause for celebration of how great it was that video conferencing software was so easily accessible and that my classes could continue virtually over Zoom. However, my devices became home to both my education and distractions. In the midst of my classes, my eyes began to gaze towards my phone, no longer having the willpower to focus on the assignment at hand.
I would scroll through Instagram, watching the highlight reels of what everyone was doing during quarantine, only to look back to my computer and see my Zoom reflection. I began to compare my Zoom self to my peers on Instagram, not connecting the dots of those two very different realities. Most of my video conference classes were first thing in the morning, and much like when we had classes in person, I opted to get a few more minutes of rest rather than wake up early to do my hair and makeup. It’s not that my mindset had changed, but when we were on ground I wasn’t having to stare at myself all day. I was picking myself apart, wondering things like if my forehead was really that big or if I was starting to bald. I was setting myself up for failure, getting frustrated by my appearance, but not consciously realizing it wasn’t fair to compare myself to a social media version of others.
When the film the Social Dilemma came out last year, it was a wake up call about how addicted we as a society have become to our phones. It also brought on conversations about how social media can be a great tool in connecting us with the world around us, but it can be damaging as well.
I think back to my adolescent years, grateful that the only prevalent app at the time was Facebook. While it had its own toxic tendencies, such as users craving validation through likes, the relationship with social media wasn’t the same as it is today. Users would upload their photos to albums which at the time were often a compilation of photos from an event where you happened to bring your digital camera, barely even combing through the camera roll. Even when Instagram first came out, we’d use the camera within the app to take a photo right then and there, slap a filter on it, add a simple matter of fact caption, and call it a day.
Today’s social media is much more curated. Instagram Story and Snapchat effects will — in real time — clear up your acne, add mascara to your eyes, and thin your face, almost making it appear as if you’ve had cosmetic procedures. Zoom allows you to touch up your appearance as well; blurring your skin so wrinkles and acne are nonexistent, adding lip colors, darkening eyebrows, even adding facial hair. That technology is now what’s used with photos and videos you’re taking in real time.
When it comes to Instagram posts, apps like Facetune have made photo alteration easy. While things like whitening your teeth or removing a blemish for a photo might feel like a harmless way to boost your confidence about a picture you’re about to post, they can also cause us to have unrealistic expectations towards our own appearances. We are no longer just comparing ourselves to the media’s portrayal of beauty, but the version of ourselves we’ve created through these apps. The apps allow users to upload their photo with options to pinch their waist or plump their lips, until it looks just right.
If you don’t know a photo has been altered, or if there’s not a painfully obvious error, then we believe the photo on its own is true. We’re not seeing the before and after, we’re only seeing the version deemed worthy enough for the general public. It’s an unrealistic standard, even for professional models, to achieve these looks. It’s becoming harder to avoid these doctorined versions of reality, especially when many feel if you’re not on the social media apps that host these photos, you’re missing out on valuable moments. We need to actively take a step back and evaluate the harm social media is causing.
The past few generations have been taught how to use technology, it's time we teach the current generation how to live without it.
